Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Im Going Crazy!

That pretty much says it all. I am really loosing it. I really don't know how many more nights I can go with only 3-4 hours of sleep. I don't know why but she is now having a difficult time sleeping at night. Everyone keeps saying " sleep when the baby sleeps" I am sorry but that is freakin' impossible! During the times during the day when she sleeps I have to: pump milk, do laundry, wash bottles and clean the kitchen, EAT, shower, and some where in there, if i have a moment to lay down and sleep, as soon as i fall asleep, I am woken abruptly to WAH WAH WAH! It's time to feed her and do it all over again. I am more exhausted now that I have ever been in my entire life! She is asleep right now but I am wide awake...go figure.

Here is how a typical night goes. 730-8pm, I go to sleep, Hillman feeds her around 10pm and comes to bed. If Avery is still awake, I get up. Usually she is asleep and she wakes me up at 1130- 12 ish. I get up, feed her again, pump milk, go back to bed 1.5hrs later( anywhere between 130am and 230 am.) Then, around 330am "Wah Wah Wah" That's right, she's hungry again. I get up, feed her and she is usually very difficult to get back to sleep. This is the time of night where she has a dirty diaper, when I change her, she pees all over me and her self, I still can't figure out exactly how this happens. Keep in mind we have to change it around her harness which is very difficult in the wee hours of the morning, and I have to change her clothes too because somewhere between the time where I remove the dirty diaper and replace it quickly with the clean one, she pees puddles that soaks her clothes, harness, and diaper( last night it got in her HAIR), and as I mentioned earlier, me. I wipe her down, take the harness off to clean and dry, and replace her diaper, (we are on diaper #3 now) pick her up she's wide awake, note, I still have pee all over me that has dried enough for me to forget about it, offer her the more food(its been over an hour since she was initially fed) and she drops huge pooh bomb that shoots out of her diaper and on to me and what ever else is around. As I pick her up to change her and clean her up, she spits up all over me, usually somehow getting it inside my shirt, soaking me thoroughly. In case you have lost count: Diaper #4, onsie #3 and hours spent, #2.5-3. Cleaning myself up:#0. HELP!!! By the time she may get settled, It is time for me to work or workout...5am,a which is just fine because there is no hope of me falling back asleep now as I am a morning person and I am ready to go. At this time I realize that I have pee, pooh and spit up on me still...I change my clothes which takes care of most of it, except for the spit up part which I have forgotten about, and head out the door, after handing over the the shift duties to H. She sleeps until around 9am, then I am starting to get tired.. UGGGG!!! Oh the joys of motherhood, I have a whole new respect for my mom....I just hope she gets back to sleeping more through the night soon.

I had planned on a cardio workout this morning at 5 am as I am desperate to loose these 10 lbs, but H woke up at 430am and noticed me sitting on the couch, baby in baby bouncer, awake, and me sobbing. I didn't even hear him come down the stairs I just felt his hand on my head, "baby, your exhausted, you go to bed and Ill watch her for the next two hours,until I have to go to work"(630Am) I felt guilty because It is his birthday and he has to work ALL day but, I took him up on his offer. Last night I set a new record of only getting 2.5 hours. She was wide awake all night. Not fussy,I do realize, it could be worse, just awake and wanting to be held continuously. Pray for sleep, I am really going crazy! ;-0 -K

2 comments:

nichole said...

Kara,I feel so sorry for you,but look on the bright side,you need to write a comedy book for new moms.You could make MILLIONS! I have just laughed so hard that now I have to change MY pants and wipe the spit off MY face.You are halarious!We have all been there,it WILL get better!,meanwhile keep on writing this stuff down,it is like GOLD!

Sarah said...

Julia went through the SAME thing. Or should I say, is going through the same thing. For a while she was really getting down the sleep thing and then all of a sudden it stopped. We're slowly getting her back to sleeping 4-5 hours at a time during the night.