I just got a video camera because still images of my little one..just isn't enough!!! LOL!! Here is the first video footage. It was the first time I used the camera so its a little shaky but she is mezmorized by her moble that has lady bugs on it. Now you can see her giggle even if you haven't gotten to see her in a while or have never met her.

Bless her little heart...

Oh gosh! It was so sad. I had to take her for her 2 month checkup which included her first round of immunizations. 3 shots. She is doing well, she has gained 2 lbs from her birth weight. I thought I would be fine, I am so glad Hillman was able to come. When they gave her the shots and I heard her cry, then she looked at me like, "why are you letting them do this to me" the cry just shot right to my soul! I teared up. I had no control. I just held her little hand and then it was over. The nurse was fast. She gave Avery back to me and she started to calm. I just held her tight. Last night she was really fussy. At one point I handed her over to H because he is usually able to calm her better than me. She would not calm down. I took her back and H ran the shower. We sat in the bathroom and I sang her Christmas songs which calmed her right down. I sang her Christmas songs because I sang them to her when she was still in my belly. LOL! She would cry evey time I stopped humming the tune of "O Christmas Tree" She finally dosed off to sleep. What a day! -K

Deep thoughts

I recently had a life awareness sort of epiphany I though I would share with you. It all started last Sunday. I was at my Mom and Dad's with Avery, and we took her to the mall which as you you can see by the picture below, it meant more to mom and I than Ave. When we got home, Mom and I were looking at her, talking about how much she looks like Hillman, when I asked her to dig out some baby pics of me, as you can also, see below. I haven't seen these pictures in many years. It was so fun to look at them and see Oliver and I as little babies. Oliver was sooo freaking cute! I was cute in that chunky baby,big ears, chubby cheek, cute kind of way. I cannot belive how pretty Avery is. I dont mean to sound braggy, I realize I have blinders on. I thought she would be the cute, fat, and you know...baby cute, like me. I didn't expect her to be so beautiful. I mean, compared to me, she is really a pretty baby!! Not that my mom and dad didn't produce a beautiful daughter...he he!!;-)

Anyways, that is not the point. It wasn't until I saw pictures of my parents that I started to feel...a new sense of awareness. I saw my parents with me as a baby and realized that they were my age and younger. Lets face it, Im kind of old for a first time mother. Mom was either 26 or 27 when I was born, I'm 29. I never saw mom as a younger person than myself. I mean, she had that look in her eye in the pictures that I now can relate to, that look, you know, of newness, uncertainty, and exhaustion. My dad, still silly as ever, but with a different stance, a different new, fresh energy, an energy that he still carries, it's just accompanied with a life's worth of wisdom that he passes along to me when ever he can, oh! And a few grey hairs that he blames on Oliver and I, oh... ok, A LOT of grey hairs that he blames on Oliver and I.;-0 I never noticed until last Sunday. It's like, oh wow! I am almost 30. I look at my hands and notice that they are different, older, not OLD, just older. I have little lines of my face ,around my eyes that shows my age, it is much harder to get weight off, although even though I am not as thin, I am in better shape now than I was in high school. ;=) I am not all weepy about it. I really am OK with my age, I just see it differently now. I am a mom. My mom and dad are grandparents and my grandmother is now a GREAT grandmother. WOW. Its like I woke up, and became aware of life's continuas push forward. There is no pausing, no going back. NO matter how how badly things are going, you know life will move on, and you will move through it, just as when precious things happen that you want to hold on to for ever, for instance the first time you hold your precious child in your arms, or when you marry the man of your dreams, you know you have to saver that moment and put it into memory, write it down, tell people about it, so you will have that moment saved in numerous places,so when you want or need to, you can recall them. That's why God gave us a memory huh. I don't know, it's just alot to take in sometimes. This is a life changing realization that I am sure everyone goes through. Right?? Thanks for reading and helping me save my precious moments. -K