It's almost been a year since Avery made her grand appearance. The memories of my pregnancy and her delivery are so strong! I cannot believe a year has passed! Why is it that all of the bad parts of the pregnancy and delivery( and there were alot of bad parts!) are mostly reduced in my memory to small inconveniences rather than painful, uncomfortable, unappealing reality that only my rational mind remembers? It reminds me of sad breakups. You know when you get your heart broken, even though the relationship probably sucked, is all you can remember during the "getting over him"phase is all of the good parts. It's is very tricky how our brains work! I think every woman must go through this because if we remembered all of the pain , discomfort and sleep deprivation having a baby causes(not to mention financial strain)we would never have babies again, or get into another relationship for that matter resulting in love, and the whole procreation process. The world as we know it would cease to exist!
I see Avery and she is amazing. The most independent little thing ever! She is walking all over, she knows me and responds to my laughter, anger, and pain by mimicking me, "haha, or OWWWW, or uh ohhhh" if I cry for some reason she looks at me with this concerned face that melts my heart and soul! I never knew that a bond between two people could be so strong. I have a strong bond with my own parents but it is very different on the other side. I am responsible for her completly! When she is hurting, I have to find a way to make it better, it actually hurts me! If she is happy then I feel the most contentment possible. I have had a very hard time with this new mommy role. I feel that I am just now getting the hang of it and feeling comfortable with it. I love being a mommy and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. Having said all of that,if you haven't figured it out, I have had a strong desire for another baby! It's just hormones im sure. Not now, but in a year or so. Hillman and I agreed on one child. I told him of this baby bug I have ( i can't keep anything to myself bless his heart!) and he reminded me of how hard my pregnancy was on me and all of that. At least he didn't shoot it down completely. "I don't want anymore dogs or babies" was a joke...I think! ;-) I think once I get through her birthday and all that I will get over this urge! We shall see. I am sure about one thing, now is not the right time. Just like with Avery,if and when the time is right we will know. -K
PS. Is it too soon to think about baby names?? Just Kidding...Sort of! ;-)
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2 comments:
I didn't go through a baby bug stage before getting preggo again, but I know a lot of friends did. We both really wanted to have another baby, and for Julia and the new one to be close in age. But I figure you both gotta be on board for it to work!
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