Avery's first Christmas

Baby Boo Hoo's

I cannot believe that a week has already passed since the birth of Ms. Avery. The first week has been full of unexpected emotions. I always thought bringing Avery home would be such a happy and exciting moment. H and I will whisk her in the front door, all happy and laughing, showing her around and setting everything up. Well, in reality, it was exciting, just not quite so.... perfect as I imagined. Even at the hospital, I was soooo ready to get her home. But as I was being wheeled out of the hospital room, the transportation attendent backed my wheelchair out and I got one last glimpse of the hospital room where I had stayed for the last few pivotal days. It started. This sad feeling swept over me. You know, you meet people in the hospital that you have just shared the most important days of your life with. The nurses and Dr's, Lactation consultants all helped me tremendously,and all shared this important time in Hillman and I's life, and I will never see them again. Its all over. The pregnancy, the long awaited delivery. The feeling reminded me of how I feel sometimes after Christmas, or some other big event that had taken so much planning, but much more intense. After so much planning... in a short time, Its all over. I mean.. I am so excited that Avery is here, I couldn't bare being pregnant one more day but its still sad. I brushed off the tears and we headed down to the car. Some where between Nashville and Ridgetop, Hillman was talking about something that I can't recall, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to sob. I mean sob like, I haven't sobbed like this since I was young. Huge tears fell from my eyes and I just couldn't stop. I sobbed for the rest of the day like this on and off. The best way for me to describe how i feel is totally and completely overwhelmed. Anxiety, sadness, overwhelmed, and tired. All week this has happened. It comes over me in waves. H just encourages me to talk to him about it, and I do. My mom came to stay with me and witnessed this first hand. She and I are a lot alike in the emotional aspect, she totally understood and made me feel so much better that she had experienced the same thing when she had me and my bro. The time came a few days later that she had to leave. I was so upset, she only lives an hour away but I was so sad. I wanted her to just stay forever!! My mom and I are really close. I could only hope Avery and I will have such a great mother/daughter relationship...I felt so alone. Hillman had to teach a class the night mom left and I was left here alone with Avery for the first time. It was almost unbearable for me emotionally. I remember just praying God would help me get through the next 3 hours or so. He understood me and sent my good friend Stacey over. She sat with me and kept my mind off of things. She has no idea how much that helped me, unless she reads this blog! ;-) I am feeling much better now. I am not as emotional now. I am feeling much more confident as a mother, many things are going well. I think it will also help when I can move around and tend to the house better. I am still experiencing quite a bit of pain from the C-sec incision, so i am pretty limited in the things I can do. Say a little prayer for us. We are getting there!!

Avery Kathryn Is Here

How is it that I could love someone so much that I just met? I mean...Ok, I didn't JUST meet her but, woah... I have never felt this much love for someone. Avery is here! She the most precious thing that has ever drawn a breath... maybe Im a little bias...

Thursday evening, around 9pm on the 13th of December I started having contractions. Hillman and I went to the hospital per Dr.'s advice at around 2am December 14th. We were admitted to Labor and Delivery at 3am...What happened next was a whirl wind beyond belief! I am going to tell you how my precious daughter came into this world, let me warn you.. Its not pretty as you can see in the picture above!

Everything went so smoothly until I started to push. I was admitted to L&D, experiencing very uncomfortable contractions happening every 2 min or so...Woah! Menstrual cramps on crack is what I told Hillman at one point in the middle of breathing, grasping onto the bed rails, and curling my toes to the point of foot cramps. H and the nurses found much humor in this statement but its true!!!! I chose to go the pain free route. The epidural was a breeze!!! Its not something I want to do every day but... wow, things were much more tolerable now. I felt a wonderful warm sensationcome over my legs, HEAVEN!!! Then I realized how many bags of that fluid had come through my IV, I had no control over my bladder and was terrified I would pee on the bed!! The nurse put a cath in thank goodness!!! WHEW! One embarrassing moment avoided!!! Many more to come that were unavoidable... We won't go into that much detail though, some things are just better kept to ourselves!!

Its time push. 1130 am. Friday December 14th. She is almost here! So I thought. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed.........2 hours later. I had NO more pushes left. The Doc came in through out the two grueling hours of pushing and found that Avery's head was turned the wrong way. "sunny side up" is what she called it. Ave was stuck, my hips would not allow her to come through. Utterly exhausted, I was sobbing. Feeling a lot of pain, despite the epidural, in my lower back ,I was totally and completely spent. The Dr realized this and told me no more pushing. I had one more push and she wanted to use a vacuum to turn her, not pull her out, but she though that if she could just turn her maybe I could push her out. A team came in, started prepping me for the vacuum and Hillman was sort of pushed back. All of these people were swarming around me, "sign here, what is your pain scale right now, can you feel this?" all of the sudden PUSH PUSH PUSH KARA PUSH! Nothing. The Doc, says the magic words, "Kara, lets get Ms. Avery out, I want to do a C-Sec. She'll be her in 30 min, lets go" BOOM! H was pushed even further away, more people swarmed me, ripping my gown off to expose ALL!! That's right, nothing left to the imagination at all, a nurse started frantically shaving my private area..i meant to ask for a Brazilian wax but I just couldn't get it out between my sobs. " lets hook her up to the real stuff" the CRNA said, they were stitching me, tugging on me, pushing me in places that I didn't know others could reach, and we're off!!

The O.R. Was bright, decorated in Christmas decor. By this time I was in and out of sleep, I was trying so hard to stay awake! The Dr asked me questions about my life that should have been easy for me to answer however.. I struggled to put sentences together. Before I knew it Hillman was holding my hand, he squeezed twice and said Kara! THis is it!!! Tugg, Tugg, Pressure PRESSURE! And HERE SHE IS!!! SLAP and WAHHHH WAHHHHH WAHHHHHH!!!! Oh my GOD, I remember saying, they let her peep over the giant blue curtain and she matched it! I gave birth to a beautiful smurf!!!! ;-) They put her on the exam table where i could barely see her out of the corner of my eye. I told H to go see her, I was fine. 8 lbs 6oz!!! 19&3/4 inches! WOW!! No wonder you couldnt push her out!!! My mouth felt like the driest desert and the CRNA gave me a damp rag to suck on..how nice!! It really helped!!They placed her on my shoulder, I could barely see her between my glasses the space of blur where my glasses couldn't cover, she was red now and the most amazing thing I have ever seen! Even if the Sahara Desert wasn't in my mouth, I actually had NO words. I just stared until someone whisked her away. "another tattoo saved" The Dr exclaimed! YAY! The crowd replied! Before I knew it, They were wheeling me out! I wanted to hug them all, tell them how much I appreciated them, express all of my gratitude but I couldn't say a word! My mouth was too dry and I was FIGHTING to stay awake!!

Back in recovery, My body was shaking uncontrollably! I felt as though I was in shock. My mom,dad, and brother were all in there. Hillman also by my side, trying to calm my nerves. CC the nurse tells me not to sit up too fast, I began to put my bed in the upright position. I really tried to slowly do that but apparently it wasn't slow enough! I had a rush of energy and a nurse stepped in and asked me if i wanted to see my baby! YES! I managed to say. Please! They brought her in to me. I held her and then the words left my mouth that I will never live down in my entire life...Sobbing I said " O my god, she's beautiful, somebody, take her, I'm going to throw up" My Mom gathered her up, Hillman grabbed a container and I lost it. I puked for the next hour! "Now its time to try to breast feed" I thought, everybody apparently looked at each other like"no way"... I was actually thinking, I cannot possibly give anything else from my body right now, but some how, with the help of my family and nurses, I managed to latch her on for a few precious moments in between hurl sessions.... Lovely huh!

Its over, what an event! I am not complaining in the least though. I am just simply sharing Avery's story of her blessed arrival. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It makes last years half marathon look like cake! She is here and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! It is truly amazing how wonderfully life is. I brought her into this world, there is nothing more satisfying that that. Get ready for a fun ride Avery! We will have our ups and downs but we have passed our first test in life together! Your birth.

Feelin' good...

Today's Dr appt. went much better than last Monday's. I feel really good today! With the exception of my on going hip pain that makes it very painful to WALK or do anything else...not that im complaining!! ;-) Dr Blake just looked at me and said..." you feel much better today huh??" Yeah, I'm not a sobbing mess like i was last week!!!

BP still read high until I laid on my left side. The baby's sitting on illiac arteries...stopping up the blood flow! I am now dilated to 3 cm. At least my body is doing SOMETHING!! If I do not go into labor on my own... I am going to try and wait until the 17th to be induced. Yes..that's 41 weeks. I am going to try to go into labor on my own, also, I have exams next week... Hopefully I'll go into labor earlier.. the sooner the better!!!!! H and I went to Las Palmas to get some spicy food, I heard that could speed up labor, nothing yet though!! Ill be sure to keep you posted as best as I can! Smooches! ~K

We've Gone "Green"

Check out our new car! Its a 2008 Toyota Prius (Hybrid) We had to order it, It will be here around the 11th, hopefully Avery will be here too!! Love you all!! ~K